Thursday, January 25, 2007

I quit. Again.

why shdnt i just quit. they destroy my suitcase with supplies for THEIR newborns. they try to close our surgical unit because they see we are successful. strange people follow me. i hate this.

for some reason God asks me to work here. door is triple locked and my local contact will guard. but this is typical.

as my mental health improves i become less tolerant of indignities. as on my egrBlog profile i am perfect for this work being mentally ill because no one in their right mind wd do this.

i will wake up tomorrow, pick up my fired o’glake, and engage in battle once again. the 2 week old baby with transposition. blood from heart doesnt reach lungs for required oxygen. i find myself in surprising sympathy w this. need some oxygen myself.

thx for firedoglake love, i’ll be ok always have before just not so public except for last summer. apprec yr prayers. f*cking country.


egregious said...

feel like throwing things. ok w that?

egregious said...

and they wonder why i drink.

egregious said...

Christy Hardin Smith says:

I sat watching, feeling this need to scream out, "Stop, you are going too far."

[end quote]

Some of us have felt that way for years. It's why I call myself egregious.

egregious said...

Senator Chuck Hagel says:

”What do you believe? What are you willing to support? What do you think? Why were you elected?” he asked. If you wanted a safe job, go sell shoes.”

Ok then.

I'm about ready to go sell shoes.

Suzanne said...

i had a great comment all written up, it even offered you my cup but blogger ate it when i signed in....

prayers, natch, eg, special and with your name on them

i hate it when i throw things - since i live alone i end up having to clean up the mess AND pay for the new coffee cup

feel free to throw my cup - just be aware of the large crack in the outer shell near the handle

egregious said...

thanks suzanne.

i went back to the hospital to work again as usual the next day.

it seems i dont have the right to quit and leave these little ones.

travel today.

NZ Expat said...

Hey egregious -

Thank you for looking into the eyes of those infants and doing this for them.

I'm struggling tonight to help my daughter way across the sea and I feel that I'm not doing enough for others, just in my own family circle. Naval gazing, it seems. Yet, she's improving and this isn't the time to pull back, but even while I'm here, it is so time intensive. Others say, just give her tough love. Tell her she's on her own; but her mind cycles and cycles in ever increasing panic and anxiety. Once again, I talk her down, but at least now it is possible to do so. She isn't running screaming into the night (where we were about four years ago).

I hope the miracles of what you are doing can filter through the curtain of obtuseness, obstruction, and ignorant power.

egregious said...


You do what YOU think is right for your daughter. No one has the right to judge.

If you knew a strange woman at church who had problems and you helped her wouldn't that be considered a GOOD thing? And here it is your own flesh and blood.

Until we get the meds right, which could take another generation, we have to go with whatever combination of things works for ourselves and our children.

Totally been there. Am still there now.