Today is my 56th birthday. Thanks Mother!!
I feel younger than a year ago. Something about the hope I am finding at firedoglake and elsewhere. It's filling me with something new and wonderful.
*******
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Things which divide us
I have had a couple experiences today that illuminate the deep and perhaps impossible gap between human beings. We try to hide things from others so that life in family and community is possible. But what happens when the end result is consistently pain for one person?
The danger is substance abuse and extended periods of feeling sad and angry about this decision. I would describe myself as a pre-alcoholic, it will be a struggle to see which way this goes. To submerge my own needs for others, how far exactly does that go? And my religion is frankly not helpful here, as one is to put the needs of others above one's own. Being first big sister of 7 and then a mother and then a charity president who is responsible for saving 3,000 lives no pressure there.
Is there an alternative? To speak freely? What if speaking freely would hurt the person you love. If that person is a child or a sibling who is emotionally wounded, is it the better part of love to decide not to speak plainly? Where is the line.
What if the person is someone who is not responsible for the reservoir of pain I carry around. Do I speak up, say how certain actions are hurtful? Say nothing for the ten thousandth time? I feel that I am a person deeply in debt, emotional debt and I don't know if I will ever become solvent. In the meantime, I don't want to frighten and hurt those who are in my daily life.
Need to proceed very slowly and gently with healing, to protect vital relationships. I will not speak in anger lest I hurt someone I love. I am learning to whisper a tiny bit louder so that people around me know when their actions have pushed me under when I am already close to drowning.
The danger is substance abuse and extended periods of feeling sad and angry about this decision. I would describe myself as a pre-alcoholic, it will be a struggle to see which way this goes. To submerge my own needs for others, how far exactly does that go? And my religion is frankly not helpful here, as one is to put the needs of others above one's own. Being first big sister of 7 and then a mother and then a charity president who is responsible for saving 3,000 lives no pressure there.
Is there an alternative? To speak freely? What if speaking freely would hurt the person you love. If that person is a child or a sibling who is emotionally wounded, is it the better part of love to decide not to speak plainly? Where is the line.
What if the person is someone who is not responsible for the reservoir of pain I carry around. Do I speak up, say how certain actions are hurtful? Say nothing for the ten thousandth time? I feel that I am a person deeply in debt, emotional debt and I don't know if I will ever become solvent. In the meantime, I don't want to frighten and hurt those who are in my daily life.
Need to proceed very slowly and gently with healing, to protect vital relationships. I will not speak in anger lest I hurt someone I love. I am learning to whisper a tiny bit louder so that people around me know when their actions have pushed me under when I am already close to drowning.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Happiness
Yay summer, for the person with manic depression!
I just feel happy today.
Hope all my loved ones are doing well.
*******
I just feel happy today.
Hope all my loved ones are doing well.
*******
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Webb and Iraq and Iran
I should be happy about the progress being made in the Senate and House Judiciary hearings, and I am to a point. I fell into a funk considering our military situation. Stepping back from the motherblog, I spent some time thinking about more mundane matters such as lovely children and my new Louboutins. It does not create a balance against the horror but I must try to find joy where possible.
But there are matters of war and peace which are slipping away from us. The Webb amendment to give troops adequate rest before being sent away to get shot at: 56 favored this, 41 against. And that means it passed? Oh no, it failed, because this was a cloture vote. Now we see who -really- supports the troops.
The Webb amendment was a compromise between historical ratios of fighting and rest, which are 2:1 for regular forces and much greater for reserves and guard. The bill would set the ratio at 1:1 for regular forces; current troops are fighting for 15 months and off for only 12. The Senate couldn't agree to 1:1? Who will agree to sign up to fight with no end in sight, for a bogus war begun based on lies about weapons of mass destruction?
It is destroying our reserves and our national guard as well. Someday we might need the guard at home. New Orleans anyone?
Then the Senate passed a bill using very provocative language about IraN, using terms like murder of US troops. This is the kind of step that can lead to more propaganda, falling into war, real war, the kind where the other country might actually strike back against us. And for what? Oil, power, our supposed ally in the Middle East?
Spare me. No, better: spare our troops.
*******
But there are matters of war and peace which are slipping away from us. The Webb amendment to give troops adequate rest before being sent away to get shot at: 56 favored this, 41 against. And that means it passed? Oh no, it failed, because this was a cloture vote. Now we see who -really- supports the troops.
The Webb amendment was a compromise between historical ratios of fighting and rest, which are 2:1 for regular forces and much greater for reserves and guard. The bill would set the ratio at 1:1 for regular forces; current troops are fighting for 15 months and off for only 12. The Senate couldn't agree to 1:1? Who will agree to sign up to fight with no end in sight, for a bogus war begun based on lies about weapons of mass destruction?
It is destroying our reserves and our national guard as well. Someday we might need the guard at home. New Orleans anyone?
Then the Senate passed a bill using very provocative language about IraN, using terms like murder of US troops. This is the kind of step that can lead to more propaganda, falling into war, real war, the kind where the other country might actually strike back against us. And for what? Oil, power, our supposed ally in the Middle East?
Spare me. No, better: spare our troops.
*******
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
July 4: Everybody Can Do Something
What to do:
Everybody can do something:
Lead. Follow. Support. Teach. Learn.
See something that's not being done? Give yourself a battlefield promotion: you do it, or organize a group of people to get the job done.
See somebody else being an effective leader? Follow their directions and their guidance.
Are there people and groups doing amazing this that you admire? Support their efforts with funds, publicity, and words of encouragement. Hint: firedoglake fundraiser in progress to support the next chapter of Janevision and Marcyvision.
Have you figured out a little of what is going on? Teach others, whether children or adults. Most people do NOT know how far things have gone. Explain it to them.
Do things seem really confused? Learn more. Maybe things will still be confusing, but at a much higher level.
Everybody can do something.
*******
Everybody can do something:
Lead. Follow. Support. Teach. Learn.
See something that's not being done? Give yourself a battlefield promotion: you do it, or organize a group of people to get the job done.
See somebody else being an effective leader? Follow their directions and their guidance.
Are there people and groups doing amazing this that you admire? Support their efforts with funds, publicity, and words of encouragement. Hint: firedoglake fundraiser in progress to support the next chapter of Janevision and Marcyvision.
Have you figured out a little of what is going on? Teach others, whether children or adults. Most people do NOT know how far things have gone. Explain it to them.
Do things seem really confused? Learn more. Maybe things will still be confusing, but at a much higher level.
Everybody can do something.
*******
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Libby sentence commuted
Message to fellow firedoglake pups, 8:45 this morning
Fifteen minutes til the White House switchboard is open. Please be kind to the operators, who face a brutal day.
As do the people we are savaging in Iraq.
As do the people we are neglecting in the U.S.
Anger = energy. Use it. Focus.
*******
Fifteen minutes til the White House switchboard is open. Please be kind to the operators, who face a brutal day.
As do the people we are savaging in Iraq.
As do the people we are neglecting in the U.S.
Anger = energy. Use it. Focus.
*******
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