The King's Speech

Wonderful movie, I identified with the one who was thrust into the spotlight wondering if people would realize he/she was really not that good, really an impostor. How often I experienced this in St. Petersburg Children's Hospital as I was interviewed by Russian television and radio, in a language I studied hard to speak and barely could evoke. But it seemed to be enough.

Cried when they played the Emperor Concerto - the only piece I ever played piano with a real orchestra [Cornell] - because I realized as they played this German music the movie was headed towards war between Britain and Germany, what now seems impossible and then must have seemed nearly so.

We all try to do the best we can, and sometimes it falls into pieces. Even so, we must carry on.

Against All Odds

Get up every day and try again.

Youtube link here

*****

Waterslide

Neighborhood block party today, so nervous I nearly didn't go. Of course everyone was gracious to welcome the newcomer. This waterslide was directly outside my front door. Love the sound of happy children.

One Good Year

Challenged myself to come up with a list of good things that have developed since last July 22.

1. Courage/face fears
2. Live in a place with perfect weather
3. Shed bitterness
4. Own resources/choices
5. I like my new little place
6. Friendlier to everyone, store clerks, etc
7. Live near mountains
8. Humble to accept love and help
9. Help my mom more
10. Work on progressive infrastructure
11. New friends
12. Great neighbors with kids and dogs
13. Really fresh food
14. I am writing at last
15. Closure on my russian work
16. Finally off meds
17. Being given more responsibility at work
18. More honest relationships
19. Time spent on beauty and health
20. Open to the next steps in my life

*******

photo by bensonkua

The English: Patient

Summoned up my courage and went to yet another dance venue: English dancing.

Ok we didnt wear costumes but the dancing was similar. Much fun had by all!

They made a deliberate attempt to welcome new people and help them learn the dances. This works well for the new and the shy. I will return.

*******

photo by Michael R. Perry

O Holy Night

crossposted at firedoglake 24 december 2007

Wishing you all the most precious gifts, the ones no money can buy:

Joy

Community

Inner peace

Courage

Hope

A word about hope:

The word *yet*

“I can’t do that” becomes “I can’t do that…yet”

“We don’t have the answers” turns into “We don’t have the answers…yet”

Whatever your tradition, you can tap into the message of hope for the future. Believe in something better, and take the first tiny steps in that direction. Astonishing things can happen.

*******

Josh Groban singing at the tree lighting ceremony, Rockfeller Center, 4 December 2002

Being brave

Well that was a short rest. I am congenitally unsuited for mental inactivity. If only that would extend to my exercise program....

I am thinking about small steps, about being brave and facing various obstacles, excuse me, various possible alternatives. Rather than blustering my way thru, which is the normal approach and the fastest, I am experimenting with trying to discover the dimensions of these intervening factors.

And speaking of dimensions, yesterday I took the plunge and got out the flexible tape measure for spring clothes buying. Sigh. Those numbers happen every year, I don't know why it's such a stunning surprise each time. But I set aside the entire day for shopping if necessary, to get things going.

I prefer to shop online, try things on in a quiet safe place, and then return the extras. In the middle of shopping, I called my credit card people and got a woman who said she does exactly the same, because she has a toddler. We had a pleasant chat about the horrors of noisy and crowded stores. Now see, if I hadn't faced that tape measure, I wouldn't have found a fellow store avoider.

Then the program to fit those lovely clothes involved getting out the door into the cold weather for a forest sanity walk. But it's cold! I like my couch. Fine. Out the door. Once I get going it's fine. I read somewhere that people with adhd have difficulty with transitions, that sounds right on the money.

I finished wrestling the previous day's computer problems with a victory. That took some courage, and some perseverence. My motivation is either on high or off. It's hard to find motivation for something in between, so this was a real victory.

The wellbutrin that I'm on does help with motivation, that moment of thinking about doing something interesting and actually beginning it. If that doesn't work then I just force myself, but after all these years I am becoming disenchanted with that as a reason to do things.

It's a great luxury to work independently and have the time to figure out how to do things right. It will be a great experiment.