Monday, January 08, 2007

Ozma of Oz

marksb---"egregious, I sang my daughter to sleep last night, for the first time in maybe seven weeks. My throat finally let me hit the notes, though the high ones still hurt. Anyway, as she settled into sleep and I capped off Donovan's 'Song Of The Naturalist's Wife' I found a few tears on my face. Music not only heals, it is a wonderful measure of our healing."

I dissolve in tears for the happiness of your being able to sing for her. So grateful for the small things!

When my oldest daughter was little I would read to her from various Oz books [clearly Ozma of Oz, where she is the beneficent ruler, was our the whole emerald thing, favorite color green. but i digress] would read to her but would have to stop in the middle of reading a sentence to take another breath, my asthma was at that level.

I am so grateful that I was able to read to her and that now I can breathe properly. Yay meds.


egregious said...

I raise a toast to all people who worked to find cures for asthma and for depression.


And please, keep going. Especially on the depression/bipolar stuff. We are hurting out here.

Balrog said...

Hi Egregious, I finally made it over!

Every time you post with a hint of your pain I have mixed emotions. I feel not only your angst but your intelligence and vitality. I know how every day is a challenge to keep the positive flowing against what is a world of resistance.

I know what you endure. Genius, or at least above average processor speed, stifled by bad memory. Demons that come and go but most often come. Hopelessness fueled by participation in a hopeless cause.

It sucks.

So what do you do to rise against? I usually took solace in family and friends, but their power has diminshed over time. I too have turned to the bottle to anesthetize; we all know how that works. Not.

I asked you once if you had heard of HR. Health Realization. Of all of the things I have tried, it has had the most success for me. Let me know if you'd like to hear more.

In the mean time, I enjoy your posts at FDL the most, so no respites allowed for now. I got a small buzz when I bailed on them earlier last year only to be welcomed back by kindness. Know that the same energy is felt for you by me and I know others.

What can I do for you?

xoxo Judd Brown (Balrog)

egregious said...


So good to hear from you. I subscribe to no particular method other than being open to the Source who gave me Life.

My emotions are in flux because the government of my country is, in my name, killing upwards of a million people. This way lies insanity, if I think about it.

If I don't think about it, that too is evil. If I do, I must drink. The dilemma.

Tentative answer: I go as far as I can safely go, and a little farther, and then throw myself on the mercy of other firepups.

Please come back again! I am so glad you are here. Hoping to be part of that kindness which keeps you engaged. And me as well.

egregious said...

We are the canaries in the mine.

egregious said...

Check the time stamp of balrog and my reply. I just FEEL that someone is on my blog and log in.

Balrog said...

I'm afraid my Source of life is one of my bigest problems. Mom was not cool. Sad how when she reappears at XMas time my world goes into the toilet, but she's back to Florida/O'Reilly land now.

Glad to be here!

egregious said...


Actually I was referring to God, but I get what you are saying.

Hope things are better now that her negative influence isn't right there in front of you.

Wishing you peace and happiness.