Politically active. And in pain.

dialogue at firedoglake:

egregious: And this doesn’t even count the billions announced by the Pentagon as simply “lost” on September 10, 2001. snl = sorry no linky

ed*ard teller: this will get you started:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dov_S._Zakheim

egregious: And here’s the paradox. Based on new self knowledge, supported by folk here at fdl, unnamed but you know who you are, I am passing along the responsibility of this to either other people, or me tomorrow. Soul-killing stress comes from seeing horror and feeling that I, alone, RIGHT NOW, and only now, can take action to make things better. Maybe that’s right sometimes. But for me it is destructive. Have to allocate my energy “care”-fully. Thanks to fdl people who are on team egregious. I need you. The lives of children in Uzbekistan depend on your support. See what I’m talking about? Undeniable pressure.

I am seeing a HUGE overlap here between our fdl military threads and our fdl labor threads. Contractor/private army versus regular military. Who works for us, the American people? Who works for those who use OUR TAX DOLLARS to hire mercenaries?

The Billions acknowledged lost on 9/10/01 and the Billions lost in Iraq go a long way to providing a permanent mercenary army for those who would do us harm. Or at minimum, those who do not care whether their actions do us harm. Ahem $$$$.
Hotflash, thank you. This is my life, so far I have been able to keep things going. I do worry. So I am doing all required stuff to keep me going: meds, shrink, reaching out to family and friends, speaking the truth even when it is painful.

When I’m on I’m superwoman. But it comes at a cost. Bipolar is very high energy for a while but then it crashes. At the high energy level I can do amazing things, ask the people at children’s hospital in st. petersburg russia. But when it crashes OMG. I have spent a lot of energy shielding my children from the crashes so it wouldn’t ruin their lives. Pretty much worked but they are so sensitive they see thru the curtain sometimes.

What can you do, pick up the reins if you see them, take action. If you mean for me in particular, …long pause… if providing feedback here please be gentle not harsh and dismissive, that’s one. On a higher level talk about …teary pause… that other people are also involved in saving the family/world, that not everything is the responsibility of one person.

My father was only not an alcoholic due to his determination not to go that route. Otherwise, all the sudden rage/bipolar stuff is there in spades. I will probably spend tens of thousands of dollars in therapy to understand that it is not my responsibility to keep our family of 9 intact but it may take the rest of my hopefully long life.

I am wired to try to help save babies/children/people/nations. Ref: Russia. If I pull back now, when our country is in trouble, is that a good thing? Would help to hear that there are sufficient people in the fray, that I can rest a spell.

Thank you and sorry for the immense OT rant.

What if people whose only goal was power have already used our tax dollars and our military to set up their own kingdom? Neocons/Bush Crime Family/Moonies, take your pick. Should we continue to support this with the lives of our soldiers? Tinfoil or titanium, your choice. Sometimes it seems the only possible explanation sounds like 1984 type fiction. But what if that is what’s really happening?

Not asking you to believe, just asking you to think about what it would look like, if this was true.