Saturday, March 10, 2007

Being brave

Well that was a short rest. I am congenitally unsuited for mental inactivity. If only that would extend to my exercise program....

I am thinking about small steps, about being brave and facing various obstacles, excuse me, various possible alternatives. Rather than blustering my way thru, which is the normal approach and the fastest, I am experimenting with trying to discover the dimensions of these intervening factors.

And speaking of dimensions, yesterday I took the plunge and got out the flexible tape measure for spring clothes buying. Sigh. Those numbers happen every year, I don't know why it's such a stunning surprise each time. But I set aside the entire day for shopping if necessary, to get things going.

I prefer to shop online, try things on in a quiet safe place, and then return the extras. In the middle of shopping, I called my credit card people and got a woman who said she does exactly the same, because she has a toddler. We had a pleasant chat about the horrors of noisy and crowded stores. Now see, if I hadn't faced that tape measure, I wouldn't have found a fellow store avoider.

Then the program to fit those lovely clothes involved getting out the door into the cold weather for a forest sanity walk. But it's cold! I like my couch. Fine. Out the door. Once I get going it's fine. I read somewhere that people with adhd have difficulty with transitions, that sounds right on the money.

I finished wrestling the previous day's computer problems with a victory. That took some courage, and some perseverence. My motivation is either on high or off. It's hard to find motivation for something in between, so this was a real victory.

The wellbutrin that I'm on does help with motivation, that moment of thinking about doing something interesting and actually beginning it. If that doesn't work then I just force myself, but after all these years I am becoming disenchanted with that as a reason to do things.

It's a great luxury to work independently and have the time to figure out how to do things right. It will be a great experiment.


egregious said...

How do you show your courage?

egregious said...

I work in Russia to save lives because I am a Christian. When interviewed on their tv news programs I say I am a Christian like their Pravoslav/Orthodox. I can hardly believe a tv editor let that go on the air in 1998.

A member of the powers that be said in 2000 that “you push us” to pay attention to the sick children in the hospital. They followed that up with an investment of several million dollars to improve the facilities.

People at the highest levels of the government thanked us in summer 2001. It proved useful in the government vote after 9/11. Pro US: 2 including the one who thanked us for helping their children. Anti US: 18. Apparently 2 plus the president was a majority.

A person can do all this and yet be sick with concern about the destiny of our country. It is possible to be a Christian and a patriot and someone who actually looks at the facts.

I was going to save this for my memoirs some years hence but it seems pertinent.


egregious said...

Woodhall Hollow—

Thank you for your kindness.

I am able to carry on with my work because of the love and support of a great many people, including those I have never met, but who provide support in many forms.

Many thousands of children in eastern Europe and Asia are alive because of the kindness and support of people such as yourself.

Tens of thousands of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends are happy because of the life saved of a child very precious to them.

I thank you on their behalf.


LoudounLib said...

(((( Egregious ))))

Just because, and for who you are and all that you do!